Friday, January 17, 2014

Dear My Techno-Geek

Dear my techno-geek, who miles far far far away from me now.. 

I have been thinking about you in these minutes. Day by day, month turned into months, and my fear grew bigger. It reminds me about that: I am just Alice who live at the teapot, and you are a techno-geek at the techno land. Far far away. We're not in the same land. Then I am just going crazy thinking you madly. Besides, my heart still blooming from last night when you asked me: "So will you prepare for Aussie? I am trying lot, and God with us". 

I am sorry, I am really sorry to making you hard on this all. I knew, you had hard effort on that. Sometimes, its going hard too for me. You see my flaws, my weaknesses, my errors. You see all details at me, even for a small mark on my forehead. You know I am not smart, and yes, I am your stupid little old women. I am blind about techno. But I am happy to watch your blog, tho I cant read and understand what you write on it at all. I have great mind, with big clumsiness too. I have dream about being argumentarian for your pillow talk.

I could not say any else when you assured me that you will live your life with me, through my joys and miseries, through all my laughs and tears. You love me back as what and who I really I am. I love you before, and it was not like that now. It's going lots and lots. As lots as my fears to lose you. When you said you wanted me to be your strength, my heart beated so fast and fast. Because I was also didn't know how to be strong. We are together faith and hope, like you told as always. You know I love you too much, until I am afraid to transcends these difference between us. I choose to be blind to love you. To be blind  towards of those un-sure reality. We choose to be blind, together. And you also don't know about the way right now. Is it a madness to believe this to go forever? If it is so, the hell freeze over and we walk on the crumbly ice. I wont promise. And I don't want a promise too. Not a word. Just drive your heart into taking such extreme measure. No need further explanation, meanwhile, if you miss me, just look at the east, sun rise, and I am smiling and praying for you there. If you miss me whole night, just look at the night skies, there's my dreams and hopes upon billion stars for us.

Live well, eat well, sleep well. Take care. Love you lots.



Me