Honestly I didn't even remember when and how I started loving him. I wrote a hundred gratitudes about him everyday, had his picture and
visualized happy thoughts of both of us, wrote him a hand written letter
everyday for months and was extremely positive, I would telling friends and
family that he would propose and want me to be in his life. For months I stayed
positive to no avail, even when I was frustrated and wanted to give up, I
still persevered. I loved him and wanted him. We both were happy together till the time I became a bit insecure regarding him... Oh ghost! I didn't want to lose, but I didn't know how to going through with him after some time. The pain was immense and I was unable to handle it... God... I made a sketch of myself and him, standing together inside a big heart. I just didn't realize what I deserved and settled because with or without he knew.. I deserve a beautiful love so unconditional and pure for him. We did not give up on our dream yet. We (?) or just me (?), I did not know exactly. I just knew, he told me he wanted to meet me in Aussie or maybe Singapore. I just knew he wanted to apply student visa and meet the consultant for it. He wanted to work hard to live his life with me. So did I. But I doubted.. about everything between. About something absurd things that we kept believe in...
I guess it happens with everybody. That you want something so desperately that you keep worrying about it. Though I have manifested so many things in my life, that yearn to get that love still was unfulfilled. Yes, I do believe in miracles still and seriously feel that anything and everything
is possible in this world.
Xoxo,
Bening
Xoxo,
Bening
