Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Is Love Never Hates?

The wisdom words says “You can't truly hate someone until you've cared about them. Until you've loved them.” 

Talk about love, again and again. Omg. Why I became so-super-duper-maximum-melodramatic-mode-activated in these few days? Who's in charge for all what happen to me, please?! Damn. I just like being in a circle which spins but stand still like a rock. Fake. You know about being fragile? Fragility is when you find yourself get into a sense what you called "love". Even if you are cry and hurt by love, you can't hate. I suggest, if you want to hate someone, don't ever fall in love with him/her. That's really bad choice if you are love to hate someone. 

Is love never hates? 

Sometimes, you might feel upset by people you loved. Unreasonably. Even you cry whole night because the one you loved, or even you get stuck with your heart and mind only on that circle. But it's not hate. You only feel upset. Hate is only hate. I don't know it was possible to simultaneously hate and ache for someone. Jealous, upset, sad, lonely, blame, that's not hate. No matter how powerful the hate, there is always a little love left, underneath. Yes. Horrible, isn't it? That's why, I suggest you, don't love for hate. Lol.

Monday, December 30, 2013

A Symptom of Fear.

"Life is good. No it’s not. Life is good. No it’s not…"  *repeat*

Nobody can know what they don't know about. Everyone sees the world from their own limited level of consciousness and perspective, including me (oh bummer ...). We are all to an extend "in over our heads", especially our love experts with its unique learning and growth potentials, as well as the accompanying problems that lead to the devastating breakups and divorces (or stagnant flatland relationships like what I have, lol). Does it matter we dating someone from a different race, different age, different religion, different land, different country? The reality is we don't choose who we're attracted to or fall in love with. That's why it's called "falling", no rational human being with common sense "falls" knowing he or she might be hurt by the fall. We believe that feelings of love are generated by hormones through sexual and intellectual chemistry. But everyone knows that ego cannot love, it always wants something. Like I want a hug, I want a kiss, etc. 

From "me" -- to "we" -- to "us" -- to "all of us"..... actually look like were somewhat speculative, but what else could I be?  I am not there yet.. 

 And this words fade out of my mind...

Well, it looks like five thousand miles broke the camel's back
But it's not as though i had a plan to win you back
Because i don't know what i want
But at least i know that much
Now I'm afraid love came right up
And it slapped me in the face, but i did not know

'Cause love is different than you'd think

It's never in a song or on a TV screen
And love is harder than a word
Said at the right time and everything's alright
Love is different than you think 

Omg! orange-mango and grape.
I think, I am getting crazy now....


Leven Four Cheerleading

Hi readers! Now, i want to share to you about my little sister Lintang with her activities. I think Lintang is an active girl-type of person. She got on many hobbies. Sometimes she just looks like other girls at her age,but  sometimes she also doing what boys often does. Can you imagine how if a girl have to jump from pole to another pole? Can you imagine how if a girl flying and split at the same time in the air? Ya, that's all what my little sister did. She is an athlete of gymnastic and also a cheerleader. She also take care much for her grade education. Sometimes I can feel tired just by seeing what Lintang does in a day. Haha. Lol. As her old sister of course what can I do is only support and pray for whatever she get into. People says: "To be the best, the greater sacrifice required also". Ya, that's true. She practice hard everyday, I say hard, in the true meaning. She ever fell down from the top when she did flying motion. Her head hit the ground then she fainted. Her team brought her to the hospital for checked up. That was terrible thing. Really. She had to take rest for 2 days. Lintang is an athlete of gymnastic, so she has good basic motion to be a cheers. That's why she trusted to be on top of pyramid formation by her team. The team named "Leven Four Cheerleading" as known as LFC. They also got into camp for national cheerleading for many times. I am proud for what she does. And here, I want to share some picts and videos that I took when LFC were in action, cekidot!

When they were in action at gymnasium launching, but the end of formation, one of Lintang partner couldn't lift her up, so it was bad ending anyway :p

And this also, when they were in action at our Major District's house :

And these are the pictures, if you want to see Lintang, she was on the top formation:

These also when they were at Champ of National Cheerleading:

Lintang got her medal at Cheerleading Champ :)

Split up

And here they were at Major District's house:

And still many pictures here, but I cant upload one by one :p
One thing for sure, after daddy died, Lintang more independent now, and I am proud of her. 
I love you dear! :*

Say "I Love You" Nah!

Many men do not trust himself to say "I Love You" to the woman he loved, and they expects the women to see from their behavior and understand by themselves. 

But woman wants to hear her man say "I Love You", because the door into the woman's heart is her ears. 

If you're a man and truly loved her, say "I Love You" to her nah! ....

If it was not hard, you can definitely do it. If you really care and want to make her happy, you will do it. If you aren't usual to say that, then make it a habit.

Dont let any man who more sincere to declare "I Love You" to your woman.

It's maybe you have more love for her, but women are more trusting to those who dare to prove it, even if it's just the word "I Love You".

Say "I Love You" before you regret for it.

Mario Teguh - Loving you all as always

M88 Aspac Jakarta Seri 1 Malang 2013-2014

Sunday, December 29, 2013

Sophie Paris Body Butter and Koshize Lipstick Colors

Below, I tried Koshize Lipstick and Body Butter that I got from Sophie Paris Beauty Class:

My Koshize Lipstick by Sophie Paris

Apply on my hand

Body butter apply in my hand

I love this Sophieholic paper bag :)

Sophie bag




Garnier BB Cream Review

After take long time, I decided to buy Garnier Blemish Balm (BB) Cream Miracle Skin Perfector SPF 21 PA++, exactly I'm not type of person who likes to switch beauty products just by advice from others. I select and use products that really fit and comfortable with my skin. Though expensive, but good for its benefits, then it's no problem. But somehow, I'm curious with BB Cream from Garnier, because I am a user of Garnier Facial Foam too. Okay, let's start review this product! :)

The advantages that offered by the product:
1. Brighten your skin tone
2. Coverage of imperfections and smooth face lines
3. Protect from sun rays (as it has an SPF 21)
4. 24 hours hydration
5. Vitamin C + mineral pigments
6. Dermatologist tested for safety

Then, I applied to my skin. FYI, my skin color is skin color of Indonesian people generally, brown, tanned brown. My skin is normal, not too much oil, not dry also.

after apply on my skin

I think the cream looks thick. The tube has a flip top lid. It doesnt feel like you are wearing anything at all on your skin. For a person like me who likes minimum foundation or base specially in summers this product is heavenly for me. Instantly, my skin looks naturally more even, radiant and smooth. The price is also very cheap compared to other BB Cream :D

But, then I think, it has many shortages also, like:
* It can not cover all the flaws in the face, just for an hours then if you go out under the brightly sun, it will    quickly fade :D
* Its cream dries quickly, and can not be perfect evenly.
* For those with dark skin and excess oil, I don't recommend to use this product. 

And after I tried this product one, I think, I am still in love with Maybelline BB Cream :) 


Friday, December 27, 2013

Top Highlight Reel NBL Indonesia 2013

These is the top highlight reel of NBL Indonesia 2013. 

First one's from the rookie of CLS Knights Surabaya, Arif Hidayat, jersey number #11. He joined CLS Knights this season, and he started his debut as rookie on proffesional basketball player this year at Malang. Welcome Arif! Cekidot!

Second, from the most manly player that I love :p Fandi Andika Ramadhani, a.k.a Rama, jersey number #12 from ASPAC Jakarta. Just adore him so much! Speechless haha.

The third, from CLS Knights again, Andrie Ekayana a.k.a Ko Yayan, jersey number #31

Last, from Pelita Jaya, Andy Poedjakesuma a.k.a Batam, jersey number #5. Sadly, he might be absent for this season because he got injury at Malang Seri. Get well soon Batam!

That's all!

Which is My 15 Years Style Bla Bla Bla...

I really dont have any idea when I see some artist on "Insert" infotainment today. There's discuss about make up and fashion style by some girls. They are younger then me, I mean, their age are like my sister, between 14-18 but omg, they really looks like 30 years old or maybe more -______- (and then I am feeling lol-oh-so-lost, haha).  

I really can't understand when one of that girls says like these: 
"Look. Which is my 15 years style will different with my 17 years style. When I was 15 years, I curly my hair and use the pinky-girly-dress. Now, which is I am 17 years, and I make my hair straight, I wont wear blinky-winky-brightly-dress again. Which is my 17 years style it also will different with my next 18 years sytle, you know. Just see this, my new look. Isn't look different from ago? Yeah surely, I will look different at 19 years too."

Say which is which is which is WHAT?! OMG! HAHAHAHAHAHA.... really, I laugh loud at her! I dunno whether it is me that looks same as always I was 17 or what else thing. But, really, people who dunno my age will guess I am younger than my age now. And maybe people will says I look younger then that girl. Lol.
I think that way:


Yah, as you guys know, 14, 17 years old girls nowadays been looking like 24, 30 years old woman, with all that make up.. Oh hell no! Make up your own mind first. Seriously, you will look like an ugly aunty without your smart brain *upss* Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn’t help if your ugly on the inside, baby. 

And the sadness thing also, nowadays, hijab fashion become a trend-style. But remember, hijab ISN'T SUCH a dress-code to be a fashionista too! Think-well. Dress-up well. Inner better than outer. Be wise. Be elegant. You're pretty enough with your manner, gals!

 Because...you know these:

Visited Daddy "At His New Home"

I didn't know why I miss him yesterday, much. I couldn't tell you how was it feels like. But I really want to met him for a while. I really want to hug him, tho it was impossible thing. Yesterday, when I talked to Bhev, my old sister texted me. She said that she miss dad so much, she was crying whole night, til her eyes swollen. She just noticed that dad was not with us again, she just noticed that she couldn't hug him again. Never. I didn't know, at that same time I was also missing my daddy so so so much. At that same time, I knew that my mom and my lil sister were also missing dad. And suddenly, it gave me encouragement to meet him tho for a while, I mean, I needed to meet his grave stone... 

Without take long mind, I persuaded my sister, Rahma, to visit there with me. I knew, she was also missing dad too. At 5 pm, we went from home. Dad's grave just about 2,5 kilometres from home. Arrived there, we prayed to God for him. I prayed for me also. And suddenly, I cried too loud. I reminded all about my false, about all worse that I did times ago. God... I was not good women, I was not good people at all. Really. I want to be good person, start from now. Tho, I already knew, it just started after dad died. I started to be the good one. I promised to God, to myself too. I told Rahma, I was not good as old-sister, ago. But I want to change. And I promised. I never told anyone about "myself" in details. Never. I just kept it by myself. But I realized that was not good at all. And I want to start my new life with my family, my partner, all good people around me. I let go those who are not good for me or those who just criticized me like enemy. They really didn't know about me. So, why I just stuck on what people think about me? It's my new life, and I am happy for that. I found what so called "happiness". Simpy happiness.

I cried loud there, while Rahma just listened to me. I didn't know why I felt so so so sad. New year eve will come soon, and it reminds us about daddy. He always took us to see the firework and the city. Now, noone will take us. And, there was still many things that made me sad. But, it was going ok then. Sometimes, I just going melancholic, if my heart feeling sad. I just need to cry loud like noone hear me. Then, I can survive for mom and my siblings. I love them all.

And, after stayed there for a while, we went to home..
I saw the cleary skies at evening...
The flowers blossom nice...
The fresh air...
The birds sang...
All the wondeful creature by God...
And I am just thankful, because God let me to be the "new" of me....



Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Let's Do Gwiyomi! ^_^

And this is the cartoon version ^^

Gwiyomi means Cutie Song, this is imagine a song that singing by beautiful girl for her boyfriend. With its cutie move hands and cutie expression too.

Just try it! :D lol

I Am Chasing My Dream

I'd love to share you all about my life, may it uplift your life too. I know maybe this is going sound same after you reading so many stories of blog-walking :p I have been practicing all of attraction just for looking what so called 'happiness', but then suddenly, I don't know how, I lost the track and even though I could understand everything what life teaches, I could not feel it. I was laughing on the surface but was silent inside. I could not feel the happiness reach my heart. Really. Every time I was having a problem, I would sit down and tell myself "Believe it, happiness will come, you can over this. You know you are magnificent, no matter who you are and what the job you have". It's not about money at all, it's about gratitude. I thought that so. But I still could not find where's the happiness. Until my step daddy passed away, I felt sorry about him. I never noticed him in my life, I didn't really pay much attention on him. It was heart breaking after I couldn't seen him again in my life, or even just to say "thank you". Then one day I just stopped looking for something which I think it's really stupid. I asked my self: "Looking for what? Happiness? Are you a dumb?" And yeah I just focused on MY SELF since that. Only my self.

Now, looking back, I can see that the universe was shoving me the right way even in this sad moment. I felt so much love for my dad, my mom, my brothers, and my sisters also. I thanked them all for everything they had given to me even with all my family complex-problems. At that time I didn't know anything about "happiness" still, but I felt this peaceful feeling within me and kept telling myself that now my dad will be able to be with me wherever I am and whatever I do because he is always in my heart as my daddy. No matter about "step" word. It's just word. He is always be my daddy. I was lucky to have nice space around me, I felt relax. Even then I felt down because I broke up with my ex, and moreover his family made me down. But then I asked to the universe, "Please show me the right man. wherever you save him for me now!". I thought of making a vision board about all the primary goals I want to achieve and most importantly, the kind of life partner I want and the way I want to our relations to be. And finally the universe played its role, I met someone. God, I just can't believe it! He literally told me everything which I wanted to hear. His characteristics completely matched with the ones I had put up in my vision board. And honestly I am cherishing our relationship. He is an awesome person, treating me like with lots of love and care. :)

I am slowly falling in love with myself. I now enjoy every single day of my life. I am truly grateful for setting my self free, for happiness, for amazing people around me, for only good news around me. I am smiling at life. All is well in my world. I have seen some of the most beautiful butterflies so far in this life journey. Dear the readers everywhere you are, every religion you belief in, I just want you to know, you can get anything and absolutely anything if you know, exactly how or what it would make you feel! And just hold on to that love, that joy, before you realize it, you will have it. JUST ASK to the universe. Just ask, ask, and ask. WITHOUT YOUR LOGIC. You know what, because GOD and the universe work without logic too. You just have to ask WHAT BEST FOR YOU. And BELIEVE on it. You just have to believe and know that some way, somehow, the universe will deliver it for you :)

Thank God

Love, love and just love. 

-as clear as u call my name-

Sunday, December 22, 2013


Maybe he is not romantic ones. But haha, i really dont know why I feel comfort beside him. He is also not good at being funny at all. But yes haha I always laugh at that crispy joke :p He's also not very good at arranging words when we talk. But I am surely want to hear even just "Hi" words from him, everyday. But really, he touched my heart when he's arranging these words for me:

i love my honey very much
she is my sweetheart
she is mine
and i am hers
i will make you mine if possible
i want to be yours too 


And, he also tauched my heart even while he told the unromantic and silly words like these :p

i have a girl in my heart 
she is stupid
hard working
family girl
loves her brothers and sisters
she is my honey 

Hahaha, crazy. Thank you honey! :)



Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Perfection? What?

This post due to my last post Am I With The Right Partner?

Yesterday, I was happy, finally Bhev came after lost in these 3 few days :p I was really happy, and I meant it. We talked tho it was too less, but it made my day. He knew I missing him so much. A day taste like three autumns for me. Lol. Maybe you should say I am joking or fool and hyperbole whatever. But that was true. I did not know and never thought it could be like this. Like what uh? Just guess by your self. Back to story. Bhev told me something words that made me think about it in a whole night. He told me: "I am not perfect  honey". That's more than enough for a perfect words! Nobody's perfect. God The One and Only. Everybody knew that. Or less knew. If somebody told me they are not perfect, so...how's with me? What word which worthy for me then? I am not good people also. NOT GOOD AT ALL. What standar to call somebody perfect or not? Whether good or not what she/he left behind. When we consider the issue of being a perfectionist, some might wonder: "Does driving for perfection lead to the death of one’s self or one’s true self?". Perfectionism in professionals can also negatively affect those around them (work never meets expectations, bottlenecks in getting things done, unattainable standards). For me, trying to be perfect is just a waste of time. It could cause you to work harder than necessary and still do a bad job. Remember, if we trying to be perfect, it can be tiresome.

Perfection what? 

Talk about perfection, make me think these: "Am I perfect for my partner?". People says: follow your heart. Sorry, follow my what, uh? Sometimes, I have to be brave. I know I am worthy enough to be loved. Tho the fact is, i never know, how much my partner loves me back. Then, if I asking him: "How much you love me?", isn't that too hyperbole or maybe too klise? I am telling my self : "You are not teenagers, hellooo!". But, then I think perfection is could be there if you accept your partner for who she/he really are. No matter what, no matter how. If you think you are not perfect, what kind of matter that make you think like that? You should share with your partner, what you left behind. What did you hide as your past. If she/he take care you lot, they will accept you for who you really are. And that's not easy thing. Maybe someone no need time to accept somebody's past, and maybe vice versa, they need long time to accept it. it depends on their personal.

Well, I wont say much. One thing i want to say here, that I am thankful for my family, I am thankful for my partner now, I thankful for my besties who still around me, i am thankful for everything i have. Life, love, chance, brain, religion, health, food, money (tho not much :p), etc. Thank GOD and thank to the universe!
Just thanks!

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Pretty Is What U R, Beauty Is What U Do With It!

You are invited to attend some event? With a-pretty-black-dresscode? And dunno how to make up? Dont worry. I am not good in make up also. LOL.
Just apply quick make up stuff like these, and I am ready to go :D

So, how it looks like?
Remember this one, you are pretty for who you really are! Just cover with your good manner, and you are really to be beauty and worthy :)


QuoteOfTheDay: 15.12.13

“As we drive along this road called life, occasionally a gal will find herself a little lost. And when that happens, I guess she has to let go of the coulda, shoulda, woulda, buckle up and just keep going.”

Carrie Bradshaw (Sex And The City)

My Dream Catcher

Everyone has their dreams. Everyone has their own dignity. Everyone has their pupose. God created them with a purpose. Noone useless. Noone weak. Noone stronger than other. Human is always human. And I know that. If many people abuse me, I know there are still people who loves me, and their love make me stronger. 

dream catcher

Everyone has their ways. Everyone has their hopes also. And maybe I am the one who has big hopes in my simply way. I do believe upon billions star before God scroll His skies... Noone can knock me down, because I know, tho I live simply, but I have a BIG heart. If I fall, I just need to rise and walk away. If I am in sad, I just need to cry a while and give loud smile to the world later.

I am lucky to have someone beside me now, tho we were far away each other. We give support each other. We love each other. And we have simply think to "see" the world life. Just thank you, thank you, and thank you honey :')

For The GOD Sake, I've Chatted With LENA PARK!!! :D

2 days ago, I was not in good mood. My body bit unwell too. Bhev was busy with his exam, and so did with Andrew which busy with his project for UNDP. My troath was bit hoarse, I tought I would get flu. Ok, I was tooooo bored! I was not in my mood to talk with any clients too. Only talked bit with Naviin about sport and draw project. More over that, just in bored day!

Even though I promised Bhev that I would not too often chat on omegle. It turned out, I visited there. Ya, met lots of bad guys, whatever. Without I supposed, I met with female there. She told me she was 23 years old from South Korea. She appeared suddenly. We talked lots, and finally, she told me her name: LENA PARK. Wait... *It seemed I ever heard the name*

After we talked lots, Lena gave me some link, she told me that she had many video on youtube. She was singer anyway. Okay... First, I still have not realized what and who. She gave me this link:

 And she told me she has 8 albums. One song that she love was this:

Wait...it seemed like, I recognize this face.. But WHO? and WHERE?... whatever. I still chatted with her, we talked lots again, about Indonesian food and others. Til, she told me: "Wait...I have something for you :) you must see this and tell me ur opinion". Haha, ok...she gave me one link again:

And...............guess what?

SHE IS PARK JUNG HYUN!! OMG!! She also known as LENA PARK!! A famous singer from South Korea. WHAT A LUCKY DAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!

I just told her: "OMG LENAAAA, u make my day!! Ur voice is soooooooo VOILAAA!!! :D"

I wont asked her about her contact or what else. You know, she talked lot with me, its more than enough to made my day! :) Omg, thank you Lena, thanks for our nice chatted :)
If you want to know about her, just search her name on google, and you will find her: Lena Park / Park Jung Hyun. 
Bye :)

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Sixth Sense?

Bertahun-tahun udah gw lewatin dan temukan keadaan kaya gini. I mean, 'Sesuatu yang di luar logic dan kasat mata'. Yah, I've told you already about me and my sixth sense, kan? Yah. Semakin bertambah usia, gw udah semakin 'loose' saja. Maksudnya, gw udah beradaptasi dengan hal-hal begituan. Takut sih masih, tapi mencoba untuk tidak histeris dan se-kalem mungkin menghadapinya. Terakhir, gw dikasih liat dalam bentuk wujud mereka itu pas gw lagi nganter makanan ke tempat tetangga depan rumah. Ada something blur di dalam mobil yang terparkir di depan rumah. Kadang gw mikir, gw emang telmi apa oneng atau cuek? Gw sering nih ya, dilihatin hal-hal gak logic dan makhluk kasat mata, tapi gw malah mikir itu tuh manusia. Setelah beberapa saat wujud itu ngilang dari pandangan, baru nyadar, baru deh ketakutan. Kejadian kek gini sering banget. Bersyukurnya sih, gw postitive thinking di awal (gw pikir kadang mereka manusia biasa, cuman dengan wajah pucat, a bit pale and a bit 'strange'...well come on...nggak lucu blas!). Banyak yang aneh-aneh lah gw temuin di sekitar rumah gw, atau bahkan pas gw di jalan, atau ke suatu tempat baru. Anggap lah, mereka cuma ingin nunjukin eksistensinya aja. Saran aja guys, whether you believe it or not sama hal-hal begituan, dimanapun tempat baru, tolong ucapkan salam, please say hello/greeting. Gak usah teriak-teriak. Lo ucapin dalam batin aja juga mereka tahu kok. If you are Muslim, bisa ucapkan dengan vokal biasa "Assalamu'alaikum", gitu aja sih. Sebab, tidak cuma kalian satu-satunya makhluk penghuni bumi. Bukan bermaksud klenik, tapi positive thinking aja bahwa itu artinya lo menebar salam dan aura positive ke sekitar lo. Entah tumbuhan, entah hewan, entah meja , kursi, dll.

Yah, kalau yang gw lihat di dalam mobil itu sebuah wajah (agaknya laki-laki sih or I didn't sure well), pucat, kaya disorot senter dari bawah. Pandangan matanya fokus ke gw. Agak blur juga, gak di jok depan, tapi gak juga di belakang. Gak di jok kemudi, bukan juga di jok sampingnya. Dia di tengah-tengah. Menatap tajam ke arah gw, cukup lama sampai akhirnya gw sadar bahwa it's not human, anyway... Tapi yang paling horror menurut gw, ketika gw dilihatin sesosok anak kecil perempuan. Bajunya putih, kaya dress anak-anak gitu deh, mengembang sedikit di bagian rok-nya. Dia suka muncul di beberapa tempat di rumah gw. Dia bisa ada di dapur, kemudian juga bisa tiba-tiba muncul di halaman depan, di bangunan depan, di pagar samping rumah. Tapi dia gak tahu kenapa, gak berani masuk ke bangunan rumah utama, I dunno. But, if you could see what I've seen, trust me, yang satu ini yang paling bikin saya merinding tiap mengingatnya. Ukuran tubuhnya pendek, kaya anak perempuan kecil biasa sih, rambutnya lurus sebahu berponi warna hitam. Kalo lo bisa ngebayangin gadis cilik Jepang, yah semacam itu. Gak ada yang menakutkan, sampai kalo lo bisa lihat senyumnya. Oh my GOD... Wajahnya (maaf), rusak separoh, berdarah. Tapi bukan karena ini juga yang bikin serem. You know what, dia senyum dengan senyum misterius. Tanpa ekspresi. Itulah yang bikin horror. Oh well... -____-
Ibu gw sering sih kalau sebelum adzan subuh udah bangun buat nyiapin sarapan, beliau sering denger anak kecil nangis di sebelah rumah kami. Ya, siapa lagi. Yah menurut gw, gadis kecil ini cuma usil aja kadang. Suka main gitu kali yah. Adik gw sering main Online Game di bangunan depan sampai malam dan adik gw cerita, dia suka digangguin sama makhluk gak tahu apaan. Sering adik gue denger ada suara anak kecil cekikikan dan lain-lain. Sampai akhirnya adik gue lari pastinya. I told to my lil brother, gak apa-apa...dia cuman penasaran mungkin sama dunia manusia. (Penasaran?).

Dan beberapa bulan lalu, secara berturut-turut, gw sering dilihatin sosok makhluk, gak tahu kenapa dia selalu suka nemuin gw dengan rupa adik gw Rahma. Setiap gw habis ditemuin, gw juga bilang ke Rahma yang asli. Gak tahu kenapa ya harus dengan wajah adik gw. Mahkluk ini suka "pundungan" juga loh. LOL. Terakhir, gw ditemuin sama dia kurang lebih minggu lalu sih. Tengah malem, gw kebangun gara-gara si kakak nonton TV dengan volume yang lumayan bisa bikin orang susah tidur lagi. Akhirnya gw bangun. Nah loh, ada si adik gw Rahma duduk di belakang kakak. Bajunya putih. Habis gw liatin, dia ngeloyor pergi, trus menuju ke suatu meja sambil gumam gak jelas. Then, gw diemin (ini gw masih mikir bahwa itu Rahma asli). Habis itu tiba-tiba dia nangis....GOD.... di sini baru gw "ngeh", she's not the real Rahma anyway... Beberapa detik gw diemin, trus gw nengok, dia udah gak ada. Gw langsung nanya ke kakak: "Dari tadi lo nonton sendiri Kak?" dan dijawab sama dia "Iya, kenapa?". Gw tanya lagi: "Beneran lo nonton sendirian dari tadi?". Dia jawab lagi: "Iya lah". Oh oke..... Selamat tiduuuurrrr! -____________-

Well guys, mungkin gak cuman gw yang punya pengalaman beginian. But, ONE THING FOR SURE, jangan menganggap apa yang terjadi sama lo itu hal mistik syirik dan lain-lain. Syirik itu kalau lo jadi nyembah dan minta pertolongan kepada selain Tuhan, jelas. It happens and really happens. Gak usah disangkal kalo lo emang suka ngalamin apa yang gw alamin juga. Gak usah bertanya-tanya juga,  how and why. Gak usah juga sok bangga trus menjadikan lo sotoy. Jadikan itu sebagai pengingat buat pribadi kita saja, bahwa bukan kita satu-satunya mahkluk ciptaan Tuhan. You know what, karena itu jangan pernah merasa CONGKAK jadi manusia. Pandanglah segala sesuatu di sekitar lo dengan MORE positive. Jangan mengkastakan manusia seenak jidat lo sendiri. Lebih berempati lah pada lingkungan dan alam sekitar, taruh rasa kasih sayangmu ke semua yang ada di sekitarmu, dan BERSYUKURLAH atas hidupmu.



-as clear as u call my name-

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I Called It "Unconditional Love"

I've been telling myself that I dont want to felt in love for someone who walked front of me. It's because I can't afford a brokenhearted feeling. But, how can someone explain this to me? What if feels like or how it comes? Love is such a thing, it ask a lot of sacrifice. But when it comes to the "wrong" person, in the "wrong" land? How it could be like? Someday you feel become sensitive and protective for your love. But in one less day, it become more bigger and bigger...when you say that "I will love you if you love me", then it's not pure love, it has condition. Someday you say you wont get jealous, but then you feel it. How can you stop the feeling? What else can you do?
My friend said: "Unconditional love is purest form Bening. Nobody cant explain that. Love is a strange thing ever. Only feel it at heart."
Ya, give and take. pure love is unconditional. You are not love him/her by their face, or their money also. You just know, when your heart telling you: "I love his/her heart". Being in love and all the dramas. Thats.  Oh well....

I just know that: I really the one who think when you love someone, you just have to say it, loud and clear. No ‘reading between the lines’ crap. Because some people, don’t read lines too well.

Then, I hear "Runaway" song from The Corrs fade away in my mind....

Say it's true, there's nothing like me and you
I'm not alone, tell me you feel it too

And I would run away

I would run away, yeah..., yeah
I would run away
I would run away with you

Cause I am falling in love with you

No never I'm never gonna stop
Falling in love with you...

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Mine - Petra Sihombing

Monday, December 9, 2013

Smart Gorilla

His name is Andrew. Just Andrew. He always complete my day with his knowledge and his science. I learn soooo much more from every talk with him. His words always bring peaceful and wonderful feel for me. His care makes me more strength. I knew, he always there for me. As a friend, as a partner, as a lecturer, as a joker, as a rival, as a daddy figure, etc...

When I told him: "You know Ndrew... You're so so so smart! I am not as smart as you. Every talk with you, I am just being listener. But I am listen to goodness thing. Thats why I am so thankful."

And he just answered me like this:

"Dont tell you're not smart, sweety. I am not smart also,  I am gorilla from african jungle nah. Like what you said, haha. I study a lot, Bening. Thats why. Always remember this: If you dont learn, you will lose... If you learn, you will win the race of life. Now, you already know, good girl!" - Andrew

And you know what Ndrew, I learn lots from you everyday. You like everyday-lecturer for me. As lots as we talk. And I am happy to have talking-book beside me :)

What Friend Are For *Andrew Style*

Your tears is pearl drops to me, dont waste your tears...
You know, you are such a wonderful sweet lovely girl.
I am and I will always proud of you
No matter what, you are and you will be always in my heart
Always remember one thing:
YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I am with you
Share with me every problem of yours
I will try my best to solve it.
Whether personal or not, share with me everything.
You know,
Yes, sometimes people need to cry. That's right.
But, crying never solve a prob.
We have to do something to solve it.

If sometimes, you feel you are fragille,
Think that: There're still people who LOVE and TAKE CARE of you.
Like me. Like your family.
That love give you strength to move on.
Any guy will be lucky to get you as a wife, didn't you know?

So, you have to be STRONG from now.
Crying is not a solution
Accept all which make you happy.
Reject all that make you sad.
And IGNORE all comments.
People DONT know you.
From now,
If you have a big water tank in your eyes,
Next time I will send a bucket,
You know why?
Your tears can bring tsunami... hahaha.
GOD sent you to me, and I am thankful caused that.
Your words always give me power.

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The Feeling Flying Across

My days start with you and ends with you...
I know, how a person will explain this?
Nobody can explain this
Loneliness kills sometimes
I feel helpless, frustated,
I asking my mind: why why and why...
I shrug off,
But I cant.
You cant find a guy like me in this lifetime
you cant find a friend like me in your lifetime
You can find just in African jungle
Gorilla brain is like a mad man.
Sometimes more and someday less
You know bening, cos life comes and life goes...

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Nanny McPee Story by Andrew

"When you expect me to go, I'll stay. But when you need me to stay, I'll go.. 
Good people dont want applause, Bening. There are very few people left who help people, but never come to stay.. 

You know, Bening, there are only few human left in this world, who really are HUMAN. 

I dont want publicity, I only want to see happiness in others. Cos, I am educated talking gorilla.. " 
- My Talking Gorilla -

A Very Soft Hearted Guy Named Andrew

There are soooo many ways to describe the meaning of heartbreak in this whole world. 

But there is one word that can't described by thousand ways, it's called love. 

Though he leave me without words. He will always on my heart. A daddy, a friend, a partner, a rival, a teacher, a joker for me...  

Yes, and I love him like universal...

-as clear as u call my name-