Thursday, June 26, 2014

"UJI NYALI" Convo


Yesterday, my youngest sister Lintang suddenly shouted after read a broadcast that she received on her BBM group. While me and Rahma stood beside her just looked each other. "Nooo! I have to call old brother now! I have to tell him about this!" Lintang murmured. Then she had a talk on phone with someone (on loudspeaker). Then I knew it was my old brother, he still worked at his office. Everyday he worked until 9 p.m. Lintang talked to my old brother with enthusiastic voice and innocent face. Here's the conversation:
"Hallo!"
"Hey?"
"Brother?"
"Ya, what happen?"
"Brother you have to hear this. I have good information for you!"
"What?"
"Tomorrow Misteri Dunia Lain on Trans TV will take shooting in our town! It's really!"
"........"
"Brother? Do you hear me?"
"Umm, yes..."
"Listen, you should apply for Uji Nyali talent! Okay?"
"Wha...What?"
"Later, if you win, you will get lot of money from it. Believe me, you have to try!"
"Hah?"
"I forgot, it's about 1 million rupiahs maybe, or less than that. Whatever. I dont care. But you have to try okay?"
"........"
"If you win that talent, you can buy delicious food for all of us! Or, no...you can give me money, how about 1 hundred thousand rupiahs? Yes. 1 hundred thousand rupiahs for each of us! How?? You're must be interesting on this!"
"........."
"Hallo, Brother? Are you there? Are you listening to me?" 
"What do you mean? I have to try? Wa, wait..."
"Yes! Sure! Tonight the registration will be closed in 9 p.m at Lor Inn Hotel"
"What? Hey.... Wa, wait...."
"Hey! It's 8.30 p.m right now. Look! You still have half of hour to get there!"
"Dear, shut your mouth please! I want to asking you!"
"Ummm... Okay? What do you want to ask?"
"You phone me on this night just because you want me to be their TALENT on UJI NYALI???"
"Yes! And the location is already full with people too right now"
"So,.....Are you HIRING me to get money for you all by UJI NYALI???"
"Right! Okay brother, sorry my pulse is getting less"
"Wa....wait"
"Okay brother, I'll text you the talent requirement, read it well. Bye maksimal!"

Clik. 
Lintang put her handphone off. I looked each other to Rahma, then we laughed lot over that conversation. Hahaha. That was SILLY CONVO EVER between Old brother with my youngest sister! Omaigad! 

Guys, if you want to know what is Masih Dunia Lain Trans TV Show and Uji Nyali, you can googling it. Believe me, you will laugh too :d



Regards,


-BR-

Monday, June 23, 2014

Ada Apa dengan Kopi?




"Sudah minum kopi hari ini, Mbak Ning?"
"Kalau belum, aku bersedia kok delivery service kopi dari rumah. Tinggal calling aku saja, dekat ini"

Gubrak. Salah satu klien gw yang baru datang dan buka pintu tiba-tiba nyapa gw dengan kalimat itu, tentunya sambil mringis mamerin gigi depannya. Adik gw, si Lintang yang saat itu juga ada di sebelah gw pun langsung ngelempar pandangan ke gw, habis orangnya berlalu, kita berdua ketawa cekikian.

Heran, udah segitu hafalnya ya klien-klien gw sama kebiasaan gw yang kambuh akhir-akhir ini? Yes, ngopi. A glass of Mochachino with a bit ice. Entah kenapa kebiasaan buruk ini datang lagi. Kadang gw bertanya-tanya juga ke diri gw sendiri, apa gw lagi gelisah? Banyak pikiran? Karena gw seribu koma sekian persen yakin, kalau gw ngopi, itu artinya gw lagi banyak pikiran. Believe me or not, gw ini bukan tipe yang doyan kopi sebenarnya. Kofimix aja hanya nyeruput sedikit punya Ibu atau kakak gw, itupun kadang-kadang karena ada masalah sama lambung. Bahkan, mencium aroma white coffee di rumah dalam radius 5 meter aja, gw udah mual-mual. Padahal rewang di rumah dan adik gw suka banget bikin white coffee. Serius. I am not coffee-holic. Adik-adik gw juga tahu ini, gw paling anti sama bau white coffee. Nah, terus? Sekarang, kenapa gw menggilai kopi lagi seperti waktu masih kuliah? Itu dia jawaban yang sebenarnya gw tahu jawabannya, tapi masih aja bertanya-tanya.

Hadee, Ning. Hidup sehat dong! Release all of stress and live your life with all good stuff! Udah lama juga nih gw nggak konsul sama Prof. Fathoni tentang perkembangan kesehatan gw sendiri. Maunya apaaa ni bocah! Nggak mau kambuh tapi masih aja hidup nggak sehat. Mau sembuh tapi masih aja nggak rutin check-up. Minta dikeplak ~,~




-BR-

Sunday, June 22, 2014

A Man Cooking



Today, I just reached home after had weekend out of the town. I met my stepbrother-sister and stepmother there. We had quality time which rarely we had. At least, I tasted food that cooked by my stepbrother. It reminded me of some memories at past, when we stayed at one house. Everyday we laughed together when he taugh me to cook. When we had our dinner, my stepbrother told me that he would running his new business. He would open new restaurant. I was curious and asked everything about that plan. 

"So,...,What menus would you serve in your restaurant?"
"Umm, I would like to serve menus like soup and porridge at the morning and I would serve Indonesian food at night. I am aiming for specific market"
"Waw, that sounds interesting!"
"Yea, I've analyzed the market too!"
"And the location?"
"Near Ambarukmo Plaza, the left side, you still remember?"
"Good. Ya, I remember it. By the way, who's the chef? You've got a guy for this?"
"I am the chef"
"YOU???" (a bit choke) 
"You didn't know if I can cook???"
"WHAT???"
"Hey, don't underestimate me. I can cook well!"
"No, okay, I mean, yes...I knew you can cook well"
"Of course!"
"Yea, but what I really knew, it was just for noodles".
"Heey, better than that!"
"Really?"
"Yes. You've never seen me cooking, that's why. I used to go to a cruise school, remember?"
"Ya, I remember it. But, seriously???"
"Okay, I'll make breakfast for you tomorrow morning that ye may believe me!"
"Ha-ha,....,okay! Sounds nice!"

And the morning, he really woke up early just to cook breakfast for us. Oh God! Haha. I really missed my brother!
*God, thanks for blessing me with big family :)


Regards,

BR


Friday, June 20, 2014

Indonesian Songs That Sung By Foreign Musicians

Ik weet niet waarom, I recently feel something different with Friday. Perhaps, today at evening, I'll meet someone again who I really want to meet. Hij is echt nice person, en ernst... ik hou van slim man! :)

Leave it, slechts een intermezzo. Rest, I am just checking Youtube and finding Indonesian songs which bought by musician from foreign country. Actually, it was oude liedjes but still interesting to listen. If you are curious about Indonesian liedjes, it's no less cool compare with western song anyway :) You just try to find @nlpeter on Youtube and listen to Indonesian songs that he has cover at there. Peter is a Dutch, but he loves Indonesian culture. Such a nice voice to heard (with his terrible accent that make the song more funny) lol. The song that I love to hear are:

"Jangan Menyerah" by d'Masiv



Now, I wanna share with you the list of Indonesian songs that singing by foreign musicians, check this out:

1. "Sempurna" by Anda and The Backbone -- "Sempurna" by Nicholas Theo (Mandarin version)


2. "My Heart" by Acha ft Irwansyah -- "Heart" by Nicholas Teo (Mandarin version)


3. "Tak Bisakah" by Peterpan -- "Kya Mujhe Pyaar Hai" Ost.Woh Lamhe (Indian version)


4. "Di Belakangku" by Peterpan -- "Aao Mile Chale" Ost.Woh Lamhe (Indian version)


5. "Hingga Akhir Waktu" by Nine Ball -- "Till The End of Time " by Christian Bautista (English version)

6. "Sephia by Sheila On 7 -- "Sophia" by Qi Pin (Mandarin version)


7. "Teman Tapi Mesra" by Ratu -- "Dreaming of The Time" by Ladylike (Swedish version)

8. "Cari Jodoh" by Wali Band -- "I No Can Do" by Fabrizio Faniello (English version)
9. "Baik-Baik Sayang" by Wali Band -- "My Heart is Asking You" by Fabrizio Faniello (English version)

10. "Bengawan Solo" by Gesang -- "Bengawan Solo" by Mona Fong (Mandarin version)

So....What do you think about that songs, guys?


Salam,


-BR-

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Sincerity



 
Berlakulah yang tulus dalam kebaikan, tetapi pilihlah ketulusan yang tidak menghinakanmu"

Saya pernah mendengar seseorang mengucapkan kalimat itu dalam sebuah pertemuan. Pertama kali kalimat itu sampai di telinga saya, saya hanya mengangguk-angguk saja. Namun, begitu saya mengingat kalimat itu lagi dan merenungi maknanya, saya belum mampu memahami.

Ya, kebaikan. Sudah biasa kita dengar. Selama manusia berpegang kepada agama dan prinsip-prinsip humanisme, tentu dia sudah tidak asing lagi dengan kata tersebut. Agama mengajarkan kita untuk berbuat kebaikan. Demikian pula dengan prinsip-prinsip humanisme, yang mengatakan kepada kita untuk hidup berdampingan dengan manusia lain dalam kebaikan. Ya, sudah tidak perlu dijelaskan lagi apa arti kebaikan. Lalu, ketulusan. Kita pun tahu apa makna kata “tulus”. Tulus itu tanpa pamrih. Tulus itu tidak dimanipulasi. Tulus itu tidak mengharapkan pujian. Tulus itu tidak mengharapkan imbalan. Tulus itu pengorbanan. Tulus itu tidak mengharapkan orang lain akan berbuat hal yang sama kepada kita nanti. Itu tulus. Agama juga mendorong kita untuk melakukan kebaikan yang dilandasi dengan rasa tulus. Seperti seorang ibu yang mencintai anaknya. Seorang anak yang merawat bapaknya ketika bapaknya telah tua. Seorang dermawan yang memberi sebuah roti untuk makan siang gelandangan. Seorang guru yang memberi nasehat kepada muridnya. Itu semua adalah contoh kebaikan yang dilandasi ketulusan.

Tapi apakah yang dimaksud dengan ketulusan yang tidak menghinakan? Berulang kali saya berpikir keras atas jawaban pertanyaan ini. Apakah semua tulus itu tidak selalu berarti tulus? Apakah ada ketulusan yang manipulatif? Apakah ada ketulusan yang menghinakan seseorang? Setelah membaca-baca beberapa buku psikologi dan memikirkan jawaban pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu secara matang, saya baru menemukan jawabannya melalui peristiwa-peristiwa yang banyak mengubah kehidupan saya. Oke, manusia tidak akan bisa menjawab suatu pertanyaan sampai pada akhirnya ia menemukan jawaban dari pertanyaan tersebut dengan dirinya sendiri. 

There are sincerity on them

Kalau kita flashback ke masa lalu, mungkin sekitar 50 atau 70 tahun yang lalu, saat ayah ibu kita masih kecil, atau bahkan masa dimana kakek nenek kita masih remaja. Ketika kita berbicara tentang ketulusan, perasaan dan batin mereka masih murni. Belum termanipulasi dengan budaya, cara pandang, bias kecerdasan, industri hiburan, serta oligarki hawa nafsu. Dulu, ketulusan tidak mempunyai penafsiran lain. Namun, hari ini, makna ketulusan seolah sudah menjadi bias. Karena kita hidup di jaman yang penuh konspirasi, manipulasi dan bahkan nama Tuhan pun sering diseret ke pusaran manipulasi demi melindungi kepentingan dirinya sendiri. Pernah mendengar bagaimana seorang koruptor bersumpah atas nama Tuhan bahwa ia tidak melakukan tindakan korupsi, meski telah ada bukti-bukti nyata yang ditemukan penyidik? Pernah mendengar bagaimana seseorang bersumpah atas nama Tuhan demi mewujudkan balas dendamnya? Pernah melihat bagaimana seseorang menangis haru telah menyelesaikan tesis-nya, padahal tesis itu dia jiplak dari orang lain? Pernah melihat bagaimana seorang tersenyum penuh kemenangan di dalam sebuah lomba lari, padahal dia telah melakukan sabotase pada peserta lainnya? Ya, ketulusan dalam arti kepasrahan memang telah dilakukan, tapi persepsi-persepsi dan tindakan salah itulah yang telah mencederai arti ketulusan.

Meminjam sebuah filosofi “Kebohongan, bila terus-menerus didengungkan sebagai kebenaran, akan diterima sebagai kebenaran”. Memang begitulah adanya, kebohongan tidak berubah. Namun cara pikir orangnya-lah yang berubah. Penerimaan manusia atas kebohongan yang berubah. Seni yang paling sulit dalam melakukan sebuah ketulusan adalah justru terletak pada lingkaran-lingkaran yang mengitarinya. Dari sisi itulah bagaimana kita memandang ketulusan itu sendiri. Bagaimana persepsi-persepsi yang terbentuk yang melandasi cara pandang kita. Tidak terlepas juga dari tujuan masing-masing individu.

Lalu, masih adakah ketulusan yang benar-benar tulus di muka bumi ini? Tentu. Anda pernah bercermin? Apakah cermin pernah memberi komentar atas penampilan anda? Dari cermin itulah kita merefleksikan diri kita sendiri. Apakah wajah kita sedang terlihat ceria, apakah wajah kita sedang terlihat sedih, apakah wajah kita sedang terlihat marah? Tidak ada yang lebih tulus dari cermin. Lalu, kalau anda mengatakan bahwa cermin hanyalah sebuah benda mati. Maka saya katakan, anda punya cermin di dalam diri anda. Apa itu? Jawabannya adalah hati nurani. Hati nurani manusia, selamanya tidak akan pernah bisa berdusta. Sekalipun anda melakukan kejahatan dan bibir anda mengucap anda bahagia. Hati nurani anda tidak akan pernah sama. Hanya saja, manusia lebih memilih untuk memanipulasi hati nuraninya sendiri ketimbang mengikuti apa kata hati.

Maka, menjadi tulus saja tidaklah cukup. Masih ada persoalan lain, apakah ketulusan itu akan menghinakan anda, atau sebaliknya akan memuliakan. Apakah ketulusan itu hanya untuk mengelabuhi banyak hal dalam kehidupan, ataukah akan menjadi titik balik bagi seseorang. Pilihlah ketulusan yang seperti cermin, yang tidak akan pernah menghinakan diri anda. Ketulusan yang tidak terkontaminasi dan termanipulasi oleh kepentingan lain. Pilihlah sebuah ketulusan yang tidak akan mencederai arti ketulusan itu sendiri.


Salam,
    

Bening Rahardjo





(Read more: English version)

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

A 'Truth' Which Comes From Tradition


"I do this, because people do the same thing too"

We've ever heard that sentence, right? Tradition is an image about human attitudes and behavior which has stood for a long time and carried by generation of the ancestors. Tradition influenced by tendency to do something and repeating something that it becomes a habit. Society, especially Indonesia, is highly thick with cultural and traditions. Because society itself is formed by the unity of human life whose bound by custom system and tradition. When someone is in a group then he/she will tend to follow what are group doing. Someone perform conformity because they want to be accepted as a member/part of group, so that is not considered wrong. Talk about wrong, there are must be truth too. 

What is truth? Truth is rapprochement between knowledge and the object. There are two kind of truth, objective truth and subjective truth. The question is, in our pluralistic society with complexity of problems that occur in it, is there any real truth? What such of standard that used to determine something is mistake or truth? While standard itself generally appears from an existing system or it maybe the result of reflection or a rethinking of an existing system. Generally, the concept of "truth" is associated with mistake, inaccuracy, error, pretense/hypocrisy or dishonesty/lies.

But what is going on in society today is subjective truth, which each individual has their own opinion about right and wrong concept. And what happened is contradiction. Lot of people follow some deviant thing, as what many people do, and unfortunately it is regarded as a 'truth'. 'Truth' that according to their own thought. If you are asking, why I can say like that. I give you one example, in a case, there are a clever student who don't want to do some fraud at exam, beside his/her friends does that thing. Even, they join together to do that fraud at exam. Then, when the clever student don't want to do that fraud, he/she become avoided by people around. The pity, people feels what are they do is a 'normal' thing, and it is considered as a 'truth'. Why a 'truth'? Because they do it together. So, when their grade are higher than the clever student, they feel proud--and even without shame they say that it's a result of their hard work. What a pity!

The shifting truth values like this is even considered as a common thing in our society, which most people nowadays do the good thing but it's considered as a pious. But when there are someone do the wrong thing, many people defend it. So, it sounds like "I feel something so right by doing the wrong thing, and I feel something so wrong by doing the right thing", isn't it? It almost happen in many case nowadays. Then the next question is, how to choose the real truth? Truth claim for something wrong will continue happen. Here the truth is no longer the real truth, but it become just a symbol that has no meaning. The implication is that someone can do anything 'arbitrarily' as their will and there is no standard to judge what is right and what is wrong. Everything is a 'goodness'. Even though what are he/she does are contrary to morality and conscience. But we live in a society where it’s been ingrained in us to do these things. So, just be wise upon everything.




Regards,


Bening Rahardjo






(Read more: Indonesia Version)


Saturday, June 14, 2014

Grand Final Championship Series NBL Indonesia 2014: ASPAC vs SATRIA MUDA

Popup grand final NBL Indonesia Championship Series 2014

Hi NBL Indonesia lovers!

Wohaa!!! I just reached home after watched together the grand final NBL Indonesia Championship Series 2014 between M88 Aspac Jakarta versus Satria Muda Jakarta, with my little brother. It was held at UNY stadium Yogyakarta. The opening ceremony was great too, like always! Especially to the supporters, they were SUPER AWESOME!! The stadium are filled with too too many supporters! Waw! 

Like final championship a year ago, this final game presents EPIC game too. Though, I was bit disappointed because CLS Knights could not reach the semifinal, but it was okay. There are still Aspac and Pelita Jaya who are talented too.

The final game tonight indulged basketball lovers with reciprocal action from both team, ranging from 2 pt shot, 3 pt shot, passing, steal and block. They are really brilliant! In first quarter, they played as same as good. In second until third quarter, SM lead the game. But in last minutes at Q3, Aspac began hit SM back, and it maintained until the end of Q4. Really, it was a-very-epic-final and worthed to watch. 

Prastawa and Biboy did good performance at Q3 and Q4, while Xaverius and Pringgo did the same good performance at Q1 and Q2. But, I really gave my respect for Faisal from Satria Muda too. His 3 pt shot's accuracy was a GREAT! Like Prastawa at end Q4. Sebayang and Dodo did good performance too. I thought, if Aspac meet Pelita Jaya at final, they would be present epic game too.

At least, this final game showed the world that Indonesian Basketball has also been highly developed. Moreover, the final game was closed with powerful dunk from Biboy too. What a lovely game! Aspac won the game and back to the CHAMPIOOOONNN!!!

Perfect powerful dunk to ending the epic game from Biboy Aspac

ASPAC back to CHAMPION again!!!

Okay, it's enough to share with you, I think I need more sleep because World Cup and NBL Indonesia Championship series. God :|
 

 Regards,


Bening
 

Friday, June 13, 2014

How To Choose Hijab Style That Suits You?





Now many hijabers who has created variety of hijab creations both paris drapery/square and pashmina. But sometimes, not all model fits you. Nowadays hijab has various types such like Paris, Turkish, Persian and Pashmina. Have you ever try it? Perhaps you will find lot of beautiful women out there who fit to wear many hijab styles. Begin from the simple one until the pile. It combined with clothes that begin from the Syar'i until the ludicrous one. There are some advice from me before you determine which one hijab that fits with your clothes:

1. Dress in decent and polite. But, be wise! DO NOT MIX belief with fashion. Fashion is fashion. And Syar'i is a must. 
 
2. It is not only because you FOLLOW fashion that being TREND-somewhat, then you are forced to wear model whereas it's not suits you. 

3. Do look its material too, whether it is appropriate and COMFORTABLE to wear or not.

4. Do not be afraid to look fashionable, but DO NOT OVERDO it. Dress in decent.

5. Mix your hijab color with clothes to look really fit. Do not too OVER CONFIDENT in using many colors. You will look more like "Ondhel-ondhel" than a "fashionista". Believe me. Because Islam teaches us to dress decently and not excessive.

6. Take care your face with water from Wudu (as always you pray/shalat 5 times a day) and use the right make-up.

7. Last, be proud with your hijab, but do not be arrogant, get respect from others with your manner and your look


Salam,

-BR- 
 

"Joko Songo" Monologue


By: Bening K.G. Rahardjo


The national slogan "MERDEKA" means independence. Source: kaskus.co.id

Mural slogan on restaurant at that time. Source: kaskus.co.id

Another mural slogan. Source: kaskus.co.id


Menurut si Sengkuni, hidup kita akan lebih baik kalau nurut saja sama kumpeni. Ah! Bosok! Lebih baik opo, hla wong setiap hari saja cuma ada kelaparan dan ketakutan. Kerja juga hanya dibentak-bentak dan diapusi. (SENYUM SINIS). Hla mbok mending nganggur, ketimbang kerja buat kumpeni lagi! Mlarat secara terhormat. Daripada hanya jadi keset mereka, hidup bukan mati pun tidak, ya tho?

Aku ini pemuda! Mosok rela kalau Ibuku direbut sama kumpeni? Kalau ujung-ujungnya tunduk lagi sama kumpeni, buat apa itu Kanjeng Raden Mas Insinyur Soekarno dan kawan-kawan bacain teks proklamasi? Aku ini anak ndeso. Tapi aku nduwe roso. Kalau serdadu-serdadu itu, aku yakin sejuta persen, mereka itu mati roso! Ndak punya hati nurani!

Kalau mereka punya uteg dan ati, ndak mungkin mau ngrebut Ibuku lagi!

Apa mungkin, karena Ibuku terlalu cantik? Pasti. Ibuku memang molek. Aku saja selalu rindu di dekatnya. Adem. Tentrem.

Atau, jangan-jangan karena Ibuku terlalu kaya? Terus, mereka mau morotin bondhone Ibuku? Kalau itu, aku ndak tahu. Ibuku ini sekaya apa sampai para kumpeni itu nyidham harta Ibuku?

AH. MBOH! ORA URUSAN!

Yang aku tahu, aku ini SOENARTO! Putra Bapak Martoyo. Bapakku Kepala Pasar Matesih. Siapa tho yang ndak mengenal bapakku? (TERTAWA). Yu Marikem, penjual sego tiwul paling enak se-Pasar Matesih saja kenal bapakku. Ning, yo, mungkin nek serdadu-serdadu itu pasti ndak kenal sama bapakku. Mereka itu kenalnya cuma sama Ibuku! Sudah jelas karena Ibuku yang molek dan sugih tadi.

The freedom fighters. Source: kaskus.co.id

AKU INI SOENARTO!

Anggota Pasukan Alap-Alap. Siapa yang ndak tahu?

ANGUDI LEBURING ANGKORO PENJAJAH, AMRIH LUHURING ANAK PUTU.

(TERTAWA)

Aku sering bertugas untuk Mangkunegaran dan Kasunanan. Jadi buat opo takut sama kumpeni? (TERSENYUM SINIS).

Takut mati? Oh,....,NDAK! Aku ndak takut mati.

Aku itu hanya takut nek aku mati, apa Ibuku akan tetap perawan? Semprul! Kalau aku sampai mati duluan dalam Clash II ini, kan aku ndak bisa lihat. Opo Ibuku akan direbut lagi sama kumpeni atau akan tetap perawan?! Siapa yang mau ngabari aku di akherat nanti? (TERTAWA).

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT...........

Lambene mingkem dhisik! Ada serdadu datang! Aku dan kawan-kawanku iki lagi ndelik di tumpukan jerami. Jangan sampai mereka mendengar kami. Ini taktik.

Aku melihat orang-orang dungu itu menyeret Lek Marto. Sepatu lars itu terus berderapan di tengah malam mencekam. Mencari orang-orang yang ada di kampung. Sedangkan aku dan teman-temanku sudah menyebar pasukan di Matesih dan Tawangmangu. Rumah penduduk yang terpencil kami jadikan kamp untuk menyusun taktik kami.

Suara burung gagak dan angin, menebarkan bau bacin dari bedhil mereka dan bedhil kami.

Bu, kenapa kau ajarkan aku tentang kehormatan, kalau pada akhirnya manusia tega saling membunuh?

Tapi mereka bukan manusia Bu!

Mereka itu makhluk diciptakan oleh peradaban besi. Mereka hanya bisa membunuh dan membuat Kau menjadi tak perawan! Jadi, ijinkan aku untuk membunuhnya. Sebelum, mereka menghapus keperawananmu. Tenang saja Bu, aku sudah menggali kuburku sendiri. Tanpa tangis. Tanpa belasungkawa dan karangan bunga. Aku akan mati sebagai SOENARTO! Anake Pak Martoyo sing bagus dewe sak-Pasar Matesih! Kamu pasti akan bangga tho Bu? (TERTAWA).

SSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTT..........!

PATROLI KENDARAAN DATANG! KITA SUDAHI PERCAKAPAN INI!

INI MASALAH NYAWAKU, KAWAN!

AKU NDAK MAU MATI PEKOK. GARA-GARA TAWA-MU YANG KOYO SRINDIL ITU TERDENGAR MEREKA NANTI!

Kendaraan itu mendekat. Jantungku deg-degan ora karuan. Sungguh! Ini jauh menegangkan ketimbang aku dhelikan untuk ngapeli anake Bu Mangun sing galak itu. Sekarang saatnya untuk menjadi mesin pembunuh bagi serdadu maskulin itu.

Hanya ada pilihan, TIJI TIBEH!

MATI SIJI MATI KABEH, MUKTI SIJI MUKTI KABEH.

Wooooh, SEMPRUL! Ndak ada pilihan lain di tengah-tengah itu! Yowes, biar sama-sama tahu, semangat pemuda kami yang kesatria, atau bedhil kumpeni itu yang lebih jantan!

DEG.................DEG...................DEG......................DEG..............

Ini saatnya!

"SERBUUUUUUUUUUUUU.........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

DOR.....DOR......DOR......!!!!

Rentetan peluru dari senjata laras panjang kami menghujani kendaraan patroli. "Tangkap anjing liar itu!". Aku mendengar umpatan dalam basa londo, suaranya menggeram. Aku yakin, serdadu itu pikir kami tidak tahu bahasanya. Huh, picik! Kami ini orang-orang cerdas.

Dalam kebencian, kecemasan, kemarahan.....aku mendengar suara yang begitu dekat

"DOOOOORRRRR!!!"

BEBERAPA DETIK, AKU MELIHAT WAJAH KAWAN-KAWANKU YANG PUCAT PASI.

EKSPRESI KOSONG, BESAR TAPI TIDAK BERISI.

KECEMASAN DAN KETAKUTAN MUNCUL DALAM GURATAN WAJAH-WAJAH ITU.

MEREKA SEMUA MELIHATKU..........MELIHAT DADAKU..........

Aku melihat mereka berucap dengan mulut yang kosong. Atau,....,ndak terdengar olehku? Suara detak jantungku melambat. Suara yang kudengar dari mulutku, hanya suara kendor dan jelek. Mirip orang bersendawa. Pandangan mataku suram......

BAU DARAH SEGAR.......

PAKAIAN KEBANGGAANKU, SERAGAM PASUKAN ALAP-ALAP........

DUH GUSTIIIII............!!!!!!!!!!

Apa ini yang namanya mau mati? Aku tadi hanya bercanda hlo. Ndak serius ingin mati.

Tapi............................aku ikhlas, kalaupun aku harus mati....................
Bagaimana ndak ikhlas? Hla wong ajalnya saja sudah di depan mata.

Setidaknya, aku akan menjadi mayat terhormat, yang sudah membela kehormatan Ibuku!
Emmm,......,terhormat??
Mungkin. Karena itu yang dikisahkan Ibu pada kita, bukan?

Bu, kita sama-sama mengutuk perang. Tetapi, suara kita patah dalam desingan peluru. Tak apa. Dengan suka rela aku berikan jiwa dan ragaku sebagai souvenir indah tanah Matesih. Kampung halamanku.

Aku sungguh rela, asal ragaku tidak menjadi santapan anjing peliharaan serdadu itu! Aku menyanyikan Indonesia Raya dengan suara parau. Aku bernyanyi. Menghibur diri dengan perasaan ganjil dan aneh.

The atmosphere of war at that time. Source: kaskus.co.id

The atmosphere of camp. Source: kaskus.co.id


BU....
Aku baru menyadari.....

Perang adalah pengkhianatan, bukan hanya tentang kepahlawanan seperti narasimu.
Perang bukanlah cerita heroik pembela kebenaran, tetapi juga cerita seseorang yang takut akan kematian, sepertiku.
Perang bukan hanya dunia kesatria seperti yang kau ajarkan, tapi juga dunia berhati culas yang memperebutkan kekayaan.

BU....
Apakah kau lupa menceritakan padaku cerita tentang Kurawa, selain cerita Pandhawa?
Apakah kau lupa menceritakan padaku cerita neraka, selain cerita surga?
Apakah kau lupa menceritakan padaku cerita kebencian, selain cerita perdamaian?
Apakah kau lupa menceritakan padaku cerita nafsu, selain cerita nurani?
Apakah kau lupa menceritakan padaku cerita kenangan, selain cerita kemuliaan?


Apapun yang kau tuturkan. Apapun yang kau kisahkan. Sekarang, biarkan aku menjadi gundukan kenangan untuk anak cicitku nanti. Gundukan yang menjadi pemanis cerita tentang kemuliaan mereka nanti. Aku hanya sebuah manequin dingin yang menyanyikan kidung bisu Indonesia Raya. Sampai nanti.............

Sampai mereka menyadari, kesalahan masa lalu memang tidak bisa ditebus hanya dengan kata maaf. Amis darah dan bau bangkai adalah parfum IBUKU. Namun, setidaknya, mereka bisa memilih, untuk menjadi atau tidak menjadi budak keserakahan dan kekuasaan......




Thursday, June 12, 2014

Psychological Trauma


In my previous post, I wrote some keyword such like trauma, recovery, illness, bitterness, past, etc. Even I could not tell you details about what incident that I left behind, but I would to tell you about the problem I have since that incident. 

For some people, past is just a past, what things happen at the past is only memories. They will easy to forget or to remind memories as they want to. Whether it is good or bad memories. Wise people say that good memories will lead you to be grateful person. While bad memories will lead you to be more careful thorough your life. But for some other people, past is not just a past. Past has consequences. Past is a part of circuit which can not be separated from present or future. They will always remember all part both good or bad at the past. Though, it is only partial that the pieces memory will be lost slowly. I may include in this type. 

An incident that I faced in my past, simply can not be separated from present and future. Although I have taken pains to reject and tried to making peace with my mind. Even, I lost some part of my memories of past. The effect, I have difficulty in remembering matter in present, we can say that I become forgetful woman. I went to a psychiatrist when I was at college, it was because I have to manage the main problem that caused by the incident, yes emotions. My emotions which could swing badly. I took some while to convince my self that I felt safe. But last night, I was wonder when (apparently) I still could not fully release the trauma of that incident. Although it has lasted more than ten years ago. I still seized nightmares and fears of incident at the past. Though, I've convinced myself that I had to live in peace nowadays. But, once more, it turned out I still could not eliminate all trauma.

Beginning with my own experience, I want to share new post related to psychological trauma. What is psychological trauma? According to definition on Wikipedia, psychological trauma is a type of damage to the psyche that occurs as a result of a severely distressing event. Trauma can be caused by a wide variety of events, but there are a few common aspects. Then, what is a potentially traumatic event? Psychological trauma maybe caused by some frightened-event, painful-event, frightening incident, tragedy, painful events, sad event and even high-pressured-situations.

I exactly know that children who are suffering from traumatic symptoms generally difficult to manage their emotions. If there are any, I am sure, it is just a few. They may be fearful to new situations, easily frightened, and even do some destructive. I knew, because I am part of it. Bad past always strongly recorded on memory, it is not easy to forgotten. Then, are there any emotional symptoms which indicated by trauma sufferers? Okay, according to some sources, there are two symptom models:

1. Physical symptoms: Fatigue, difficulty concentrating, difficulty sleeping or insomnia, nightmares, aches and pains, being startled easily, heartbeat fast and etc.

2. Emotional symptoms: Anger, irritability, mood swings, fear or terror, feel helplessness and hopeless, easy panic, hypervigilance (being hyper-alert to danger), self-blame, disbelief or denial, shock, feeling insecure or lack confident to meet new person and etc.

For the help, you can go to here - https://www.reachout.life/ptsd-symptoms-treatment-and-coping-strategies/


When trauma symptoms persist longer than 3 months, they are considered part of the syndrome of post-traumatic-stress-disorder or what so called PTSD. If PTSD symptoms are getting worse and it is not treated immediately with psychotherapy, it can cause depression too.

"A normal response to trauma becomes PTSD when you become stuck"

 --http://www.helpguide.org

The symptoms can be fade through day by day, month by month, year by year. But sometimes, the painful or emotion will return by facing, looking or listening at the same situation that reminds survivors of their traumatic experience. In some cases, however, symptoms may take a long time to appear. The way of each person to face their psychological trauma is also different. There are people who find their safe after they 'go' as far as possible from environment that makes her/his memory will get worse towards the incident. There are people who choose to making peace with themselves and their traumatic events.

Thence, never judge people who are survivors of traumatic incident. You may know nothing about what are they feel about that incident. Give support to the survivors, don't isolate them just because they become introvert to the world. We have to reestablishing their trust of others. Be patient and understanding them if they are in bad-tense of emotions. Help them to socialize and relax. If the symptoms are getting worse some time, you have to take the person to nearest psychiatrist.



Regards,


Bening