Friday, March 14, 2014

Java Traditional Wedding Ceremony

Hi readers!

Now, I prefer to share about my culture, as Javanese woman, I love all of Javanese custom. One among all is traditional wedding ceremony. Actually, Indonesia has two kind of wedding ceremony: modern and traditional. Because Indonesia consist of sooooo many ethnic, so we can choose many traditional wedding ceremony too. Most of people who choose traditional wedding ceremony, it's because their ethnic background. There are Aceh, Batak, Dayak, Bali, Central Java, Yogyakarta, Papua, Ambon, and many other. People choose modern wedding ceremony because it's more simple. But I think, it's same anyway, need lots money, need lots detail. 

Both has the different between. Traditional wedding ceremony performed by local custom rules. Indonesia has many etnic, each of which has its own tradition of wedding ceremony. In a mixed marriage, brides usually choose one custom, or sometimes both customs were also used in a separate event. While modern wedding ceremony performed by following the rules from abroad. Usually style that used is European style. 

But in this case, I will telling you about my custom. Here step by steps about Javanese wedding tradition which mixed with modern style, but not leave essential of the custom:

Pre Wedding Steps: (by the way, this steps must be carried out by the groom)

1. Nontoni / See the candidate
This is the tradition to see each other, people see their candidate couple. Even sometimes even they have never seen, or never know each other. Eventhough there is also possibility they already know or ever seen each other.

2. Lamaran / The proposal
In modern young people nowadays, if the guys want to propose someone who they have known, they will asking her directly. But it's only first personal step. Next, he must come to her parents/family, to asking permit to marry her. On one day has been set before, the groom and his family coming to the bride house, meet her parents/family and bring gift for the bride and the family. If the proposal is accepted then two family negotiate a good day to carry out the wedding ceremony.

3. Paningsetan / Engagement
After the proposal accepted by the bride's family, there are step that must be carried out by the groom, that is engagement. The groom must give jewelry, just as a proof that he really serious with that woman, so does the woman. They have to be commit with their love and their heart, as long as their life. It usually use rings that wear by both of couple.

The Witness Steps:

4. Paseksen / The witness 
After going through phase of pre wedding, both the groom and the bride have to confirmed by the third part, such as relatives, neighbors, or elders. Just to make sure that they will getting marry, and there are no lies between. In this step, they need to take care of the wedding document equipment

5. Asok Tukon / Funds from the groom to the bride's family
Give funds from the groom in form of a sum money to help ease the bride's family prepare their wedding ceremony. It's to proof that the groom accept bride's family like his family too, as it is.

The Preparation Steps: (held by the bride's family)

6. Panitia Inti / The main committee
4 weeks or 3 weeks before the wedding day, bride's family should form small committee, that consist of families, neighbours, or relatives, who becomes the main person in charge until after the day. They will discuss all the things that they need to prepare, from details to the big things.

7. Kumbokarnan / The big committee
This ceremony will be held 2 weeks before the wedding day. This is a meeting to form big committee for the day by inviting relatives, family, neighbors, and acquaintances. Includes discuss details of the work program for committee and executive. How many invitation, how many things that needed and others. In this ceremony, they arrange  Sedhahan / Distribution of invitation letters.


The Wedding Ceremony Series: (held by the bride's family)

8. Pasang Tratag Tarub / Decorate the bride house
Usually one day before the wedding, gate of bride's parents house decorated with Tarub (decoration plants), which consists of banana trees, bananas, sugarcane, coconuts and banyan leaf. It means that the couple can live well and happy everywhere.

9. Kembang Tuwuhan /  The plants
Tuwuhan or plants symbolize the universe. It has a special meaning in Javanese culture, it seating at the entrance or wedding venue.

10. Kembar Mayang /  The mayang twin
Often called Sekar Kalpataru Dewandaru, a symbol of happiness and salvation. This thing is common to decorate the throne / sasana wiwaha that will occupied by the bride and the groom. Mayang twin used in panebusing sekar mayang step and ritual panggih. When the wedding ceremony is finished, mayang twin will be removed at the crossroad of the road, river, or ocean so that the couple always remember their origins.

11. Siraman / Bathing ceremony for the bride and groom
Siraman means bathing ceremony for bride and groom by parents and elders, which accompanied by a self-cleaning intention to be clean and pure both pysichal and spiritual.

12. Adol Dawet / Selling The Dawet
Dawet is Javanese typical drink. It made of coconut milk, palm sugar and cendol. The seller is bride's mother umbrella by bride's father. The buyer is guests who attendance, which use broken tiles as money.

13. Paes / The bride makeup
Paes is ceremony of removing fine hair that grows around forehead to make it look clean and glowing face, then apply makeup bride. Paes itself symbolizes the hhope of noble position for the bride.

14. Malem Midodareni / Midodareni night ceremony
Midodareni ceremony means to make the bride as beautiful as Goddess Widodari / Dewi Widodari. The bride's parents will feed her for last time, because starting tomorrow it will be the responsibility of her husband

Or if the Ijab event was held tomorrow, this opportunity is used as an introductory meeting for all closest families, relatives and neighbours. In modern Javanese people, in this night also held an event like :
15. Srah-Srahan ceremony / Give many items due the bride.
This is submission of set of equipment from groom to bride, means to accelerate implementation of wedding event until that event is over. Each items has deep significance and meaning--outside of material itself--in form of a ring, set of women's fashion, prayer tools, jewelry, beauty stuff, traditional food, fruits, and money. It's including the dowry that will given by groom to his candidate's wife, in Ijab qabul ceremony tomorrow. 

16. Lamaran Terbuka / The open proposal
Even, the groom and his family was propose the bride front of her family, but in this case, the groom and his family have to proof that he is serious to marry the woman, front of all people who attend the ceremony. Front of neighboors, front of relatives, and many people. After that ceremony, the bride and his family will be placed at relative's house / pondokan, until wedding event is over.

And The Main Ceremony:

17. Upacara Ijab / Ijab-Qabul ceremony
The first procession is Ijab-Qabul ceremony that involved by the head who on duty to marry the couple After Ijab ceremony run and legitimated, then the bride and groom has officially become husband and wife.


18. Upacara Panggih / The Wedding Reception 
After the Ijab ceremony passes, there are wedding reception, which the couple will become a king and queen of the day. They will wearing traditional Javanese wedding dress. On this reception, there are also have many details, like liron kembar mayang, gantal, ngidak endog, sindur, timbangan, kacar-kucur, dulangan, bubak kawah, tumplek punjen, sungkeman, and kirab.

Ngidak endog

The throne


Okay, sooooo many steps, right? :p Even it looks like complicated but I love Javanese custom.